You want to know how you can help?

I don't know how things go for newly diagnosed Daibetics... but when I was diagnosed 27 years ago, the only training/counseling received was on how to take my insulin, test my blood sugar and how to eat.. Lows, Highs, Ketones, Hypo, Hyper, Carbs, etc. You know... all the technical stuff. But there was no talk about the emotional/psychological aspects that I would deal with. ...and there was certainly no counseling for my family to explain those matters to them or show how they may be able to help.

I don't know if it's because I was diagnosed at a poor hospital / had a poor Endocrinologist or if it's just that there wasn't enough info about it yet, but man... I would have loved for someone to have sit me and my family down back then to tell us what to expect emotionally and how to deal with it. Someone to tell us about denial and the mood swings. Someone to tell my family how they can help and what might NOT be considered helping. Information that would help us as a family AND pass on to anyone else entering my life.

So, here I am, 27 years later, sharing information that I've learned over the years on how you can help your Diabetic loved one. - But FIRST... please know that we're each still our own unique person. Not everyone appreciates the same kind of help. This is just MY version of what I think is a good way to at least start helping us, if you really want to.

1. Ask questions

Type 1, Type 2, Type 1 1/2 (or whatever else they come up with)... Which type are you? How does it affect you? Is there anything I can do to help? What irritates you most when people try to "help"?

2. Educate yourself

Some might think educating yourself should be #1. The reason I don't is for a couple of reasons. First, there are several types of Diabetes and different ways to treat each type. So, you'll want to be sure which type your Diabetic is and about their treatment. Second... I have found that a lot of people who go off on their own to learn about Diabetes to "help" me, usually come back lecturing me. That brings me to #3...

3. Don't lecture

If you have information that you think would be helpful related to Diabetes, don't tell us that this is what we should/should not be doing. ASK your Diabetic loved one if it's something that could help them (Back to #1 again). Not all information you read/hear about is useful for all Diabetics. Some of it may even be false.

4. Don't be a Diabetes police

You can't eat that! You have to exercise/exercise more! Don't forget to test your sugar! What's your sugar at? etc., etc. - These are things that would irritate me. But hey... someone else might find it useful/disciplining to have you police them. So where does that leave us??? Back to #1! ASK QUESTIONS! i.e., Would you mind if I ask how your sugar is? Would you like me to remind you?

5. Please be patient if we're moody

I always knew that low sugars made me into a mess. But it was only recently that I learned that High sugars do it too. (27 years and I just discovered that? That may sound unbelievable to some, but it's true). Does your Diabetic know that? If you're not sure, approach them about the topic when they're well. If they're aware of this, then see if you can work on it together. The next time they're unreasonably moody, they might be ok with you asking how they think their sugar is, and because they don't seem to be ok.

Well, this is all I can think of for now. I'll add to the list if I think of anything else I consider essential, but I feel this is a good foundation of rules / tips? I hope it helps. - Also, I'm once again including some links to some of my favorite articles and such that have similar thoughts. I like doing that for credibility. I know that it sometimes makes people feel better to see that there are other sources (including professional ones) that contain the same information.

• A Diabetes Etiquette Card from the Behavioral Diabetes Institute. They have it in Spanish too! http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/downloads/Etiquette-Card.pdf#zoom=100

• Non-Diabetic’s Guide to Helping Loved Ones with Diabetes from Diabetesdaily.com: http://www.diabetesdaily.com/voices/2012/06/non-diabetics-guide-to-helping-loved-ones-with-diabetes/

• 6 Ways to Support a Spouse with Diabetes article: http://diabetes.webmd.com/features/6-ways-support-spouse-with-diabetes

One last thing... I would love to know if anyone has ever received counseling at the time of Diagnosis about what I mentioned in my intro. What kind of counseling did you and your family members get?

Until next time folks.