Dedication to Mom

...and for all parents of Diabetics. I thank God that my children are not diabetics and pray they remain this way. But as a parent, I can clearly imagine the hurt, worries and hard work a parent must go through in having a diabetic child. We hurt with them for every little scrape, bruise and sore throat. An incurable disease however... how helpless must a parent feel!? I feel for you. I thank you and commend you for all you do for us. We love you.


Hi Mom.

I want to dedicate this post to you. You had enough on your plate with me and my Asthma as a kid. Constantly in the hospital. And as I turned 12, we finally caught a break as I grew out of it. How I wish that the break was longer for you. But in less than a year, you realized there was something else wrong with me. I was losing a lot of weight, kept going to the bathroom and we had no idea why I would feel so faint just from feeling "hungry".

I remember it was September when they gave us the diagnosis. It was hard to understand how I could get Diabetes considering we had no history of it on either side. They said it was "Emotional" Diabetes. Even at 12 I thought that was ridiculous, but whatever. - Anyway, I don't remember your reaction really. I can only imagine what you must have been going through. I do remember that I wasn't phased by it at all. Looking back now though, it's obvious it was just a front I put up. Because I knew at the time, that what was most important was to show you I was fine. I had to be strong for you. I chuckle as I think how everything happens for a reason.

Do you remember when we had to go to the hospital? We prepared ourselves for my stay (it was about 2 weeks) so that they could monitor me and educate me on my care, i.e., insulin injections, dieting, testing, etc. I'll never forget how I convinced you to let me eat my last "bad" food. I would never again be able to eat a lot of things (or so we understood it) and so we planned that I should have my last good hurrah. We got off the bus and walked to the Carvel across the street from the hospital. I wanted my last junk food to be my favorite thing. A chocolate milk shake. ...and I grabbed a Skittles out of desperation too. What a mix! LOL. - I drank the whole shake before walking in the hospital but couldn't finish the Skittles before they gave us dirty looks and took it away. - We both knew it was a really bad idea. But, thank you so much mom.

A year or so later, you somehow let me go on that student exchange program. I don't know how you did it. It was really different of you. But you felt you had to. I know this is going to sound really stupid, but... I was so proud of you.
...Then my teenage years. So... ok... teenagers aren't easy, right? But, was I a regular teen? Hormones and the crap you get from Diabetes. Let's see... there was that hyperglycemic episode that put me in the hospital for a week. They thought I was suicidal (and told you the same) because I neglected to take my insulin that whole day. Maybe a day and a half? But I was just being an idiot. I was in my fourth year of denial and had no idea. ...But that's the topic for another post. That was an experience! ...How about the bone infection that got me so close to having my toes amputated. ...Wow.  ...and there's so much more. What did I put you through? The sad thing is that I really don't know.

I miss you mom. I'm sorry... for anything. Thank you SO much for everything. For becoming stronger for me. For working so hard. For doing everything you could to take such good care of me. I love you.